A lot of people don’t like to sleep alone, some are scared to sleep alone, lots like to cuddle all night, but me? I don’t like sleeping with anyone. Never did, never will. I don’t want anyone breathing in my face. Nor do I want them snoring in my ear. This mild aversion has turned into a major irritation over the years, probably due to the fact that sleeping soundly gets more difficult as you get older. I don’t recall it being a really big problem until I had children, then any sound would wake me up. I became a dreaded light sleeper. Later, after I had a baby nap with me, it then became that any movement would wake me up. I had become a human sound and motion detector.
So now, in order to get any decent amount of sleep, I must sleep alone. And I suspect that this may be causing a little unspoken friction between me and the boyfriend. He likes to cuddle or snuggle or just be close. Meanwhile, if I have a night of such, I will wake up with a headache. Way too many morning headaches has told me this.
It probably does not help that I do not live with my boyfriend, and therefore am not getting used to sleeping with him. But I was married for 5 years and I never got used to it then. When sleeping alone, well, and sometimes not alone, I will actually change ends in the middle of the night. Head at the north end at bedtime, then later finding myself moving the pillow to the south end, which is fine if you sleep alone.
And I have tried and tried and tried. When we went camping a couple of weekends ago, the first night sleeping together was okay, but after the second night I awoke with a headache.
I also have to have my special pillow, and yes I know its starting to sound like I’m one of those whiners, but seriously, the pillow can make a huge difference. I’m one of those types that has to figure out what is causing what symptom, and luckily figured out that mattresses and pillows make a big difference. I now get those Obus memory foam pillows. They do lose these sponginess after about 4 years, but still useable, depending on your headache threshold.
I have said, over and over again, that it would be so much easier if we were to get a king size bed for his house. I said that I would manage on the size of a twin bed, although I am used to a double or queen all to myself. But he said no, that I should save my money, I offered that we could split the cost, but he said no. Perhaps he just finds it hard to believe that it is so difficult to sleep with someone. Hey, I even quit sleeping with the kids after one rolled over and smacked me in the face. I kept a foamie and blanket under my bed, right beside me, for the nights when the kids came into my room in the night. I’d pull out the foamie with blankets and pillow and the little darling would fall fast asleep.
The boyfriend and I have talked about living together at some point in the next couple of years, and I have told him that I would like my own room. I think he thinks I’m joking.
Here’s a great link to a variety of sleeping problems and what to do. I
#mlitantsinglemom, #singlemoms, #sleepingalone, #sleepingproblems